Dear Guidance Counselor,
I just wanted to thank you for helping me out today. Before our meeting, I had so many questions about transferring to a UC. I felt so bewildered, so uninformed. But not anymore!
Today, you informed me (in so many words) that I basically have no chance ever of transferring to a UC before the the year 2005. You helped me see how scholastically incompetent I really am, and how many years of my life and thousands of dollars I've wasted at an unaccredited art college.
Now that I know how many units of complete bullshit I have to undergo before even being considered eligible to transfer to a 4-year college, I have lost all confidence and interest in ever playing your ridiculous bureaucratic game. The only thing keeping me interested now is proving you wrong.
So thanks again, Rigo, or whatever the hell your half-assed guidance counselor name is, for giving me the real incentive to get my act together and transfer. Your discouraging comments, your dull intellect (Arnold is no longer the governor-elect. He was sworn in already, you moron!) and your occasional mid-conversation glances at my chest have really inspired me. They've inspired me to get the fuck out of San Diego City College!
Sincerely Yours,
Robyn
P.S. Your handwriting sucks too.