juillet 23, 2003

The Number Two

Okay, in an effort to experiment with different blog-writing styles, I will attempt to write a list of the "TOP TEN MOST AMUSING THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME TODAY".

10) Just now on the late show with David Letterman during his daily monologue/stand up routine, he announced that both of Saddams sons were killed today. The audience burst into a joyful applause. I may cry.

9) Due to my (and I quote ) "excellent financial record", I was pre-approved for an American Express card. Go consumerism!

8) I went the doctor today. After a rather *intrusive* visit, my doctor (Dr. Lam - no religious references, please) told me some suspicious news about my - well, down there. I kinda started to cry, and she actually said "Well, at least you're not going to die." wtf!

7) I'm sorry, that one gets two numbers. At least I'm not going to die!!!???!! Oh yeah, then after that she put me on some pills and told me that as long as I was taking them (7 days) I couldn't drink any alcohol or I would have a violent reaction. In a nutshell, my hoo-ha is sad, sex feels yucky, and now I can't even have a goddamn drink!

6) My window is smashed in my car, basically making it available to whatever homeless person gets dibs to use it as a bed for the evening. But this morning, my car smelled really good - like patchouli and roses, or the way "Like A Prayer" smelled when I first bought the album. I pictured a really cute, homeless-by-choice hippy girl sleeping there, and it made me happy.

5) Earlier, there was a man on the street with a sign about needing a job due to being laid off. He was just standing there by the whole foods parking lot being completely ignored by all these people who pretend to care about the environment. Aside from being incredibly sad, I also managed to observe that his scenario appeared to be straight out of O Brother Where Art Thou. The man had only a few teeth, and along side him were his three blonde lil'uns, complete with bare feet and overalls. I wondered if I was being secretly manipulated by Disney as I slipped him a twenty.

4) Does number five make me seem like a bad person? Anyway, um...
Today I realized that I really hate the name Jeff. Geoff is okay, but just Jeff has got to go.

Alright, top ten lists are much harder than I gave any of the Letterman writers credit for. I just can't lower my blog's worth by trying to come up with anymore numbers. Besides, #4 doesn't really count. Sorry Jeffs.

Posted by robyn at juillet 23, 2003 12:25 AM

That doesn't make you a bad person. I like that you're wary of Disney manipulation, they're everywhere. However, I must argue that Geoff is definitely more annoying the Jeff, or at least, easier to make fun of.
(link: www.cjr.org/owners/disney.asp)

Posted by: Kristina at juillet 26, 2003 03:06 PM