septembre 13, 2003

Somebody Beheaded My Marigolds!

My landlord's assistant guy, Doug, does a lot of gardening for us. Sometimes he comes over when he's bored or needs to work on his tan, and just sort of stands around the yard, looking like he's doing stuff. Sometimes we gossip about the neighbors in back who are worth gossiping about because they (Les and Susan) are married but Les is gay and an alcoholic. He gets really drunk and yells at us to shut the fuck up when we're being loud at night, and then completely denies it the next day. "Oh I would never say that!".

Anyway, Doug planted a bunch of, well, plants the other day, including some beautiful marigolds. They were all orange and pert and I loved them. Marigolds are also cool because bees don't like the odor they give off, and hence stay far away from them. Bees = scary. But this morning when I woke up and wandered outside, they had all been beheaded! Each of the 4 stems that had been planted was completely stripped of all it's leaves, and the orange flower bud had been cleanly detached, laying in the dirt next to the bottom of the stem.

Who would do this, I ask?!? My list of suspects includes Laura the little nuisance from nextdoor, snails, and the coyotes (pronounced ky-oats. coyoteees are for sissies) not necessarily in that order. If anyone has any other suggestions, it is his or her obligation to come forward. I must avenge the unrightful deaths of my innocent plants!

Posted by robyn at septembre 13, 2003 03:55 AM

I tend to first blame racoons for most of my garden woes, followed by planetary alignment, GMO's, and Gray Davis.
Maybe their previous caretaker in the nursery used to sing Johnny Cash to them, and they simply died in mourning.

Posted by: DV at septembre 13, 2003 09:22 PM

I blame Laura. She's the root of all evil.

Posted by: kati at septembre 14, 2003 11:37 AM

Yeah, Laura sucks. But I think she knows we think she sucks and now I feel bad. We've pretty much alienated the entire neighborhood, save the coyotes.

Posted by: robyn at septembre 14, 2003 10:27 PM